Despite Our Best Intentions
My roommate has a magnet on the refrigerator that says "We plan... God laughs!" and I'll be honest,
most days I don't like that little magnet because I know that The Bible instructs us to be wise in our daily plans, so it bugs me because it's not the full truth. But I was reminded again today that there is truth behind this little saying.
You see the last couple of weeks I have found myself fighting to not be overwhelmed. I have had a couple unfinished things hanging over my head and I am not the type of person who is spurred on my these kinds of things. Nope, I'm an under-functioner so when I feel feel overwhelmed, like a turtle, I retreat to my safe little shell and instead of attacking one thing at a time and getting it done, I do nothing. It's not a character thing, it's how I'm wired. (On a side note, I'm so thankful for Brene Brown for sharing her work in such a beautiful way and the freedom it brings. Some people over-funtion under stress and some of us under-funtion. In our culture, the over-functioner is revered so for a long time I thought I was lazy but there is freedom in knowing how we are wired). So a couple days last week I was in high underfuntion mode. There were several hours on the couch catching up on what the DVR had waiting for me and also an unhealthy amount of nutella, straight from the jar involved. But this week the sun is shining, and I had a deadline so I had to face a shame trigger which had been looming over my head. And by the grace of God, I did. I did something I have been avoiding for years. Something I wish to hide from the world because it shows the true depth of my organizationally challengedness. I sat with God and developed a plan of attack to finish this project and face my fears head on. So when I woke up this morning and found out the sun would be shining again, I started my morning with my coffee, Hinds Feet On High Places, was excited to tackle the clutter that had been hanging over me, and was going head to the gym for legs day before going to work so I could be super nanny and love the kids I work with. But as I was reading and getting close to the time I had allotted for getting stuff done, there started to be a stir inside of me. I tried to ignore it, but thankfully, after not heeding it enough, I now know I must stop and listen. So I did and I felt God stirring words in my heart... So I made notes in the margins of the rough draft of my first book and started to pray specific prayers that were popping up like popcorn in my spirit, and I felt the stirring again so I got out my computer and was reminded again of a simple but profound truth.
I am to have a plan of attack for each day, but I must not rely on the plan but rather on The One Who Guides All My Days. You see I love plans. I like knowing where I need to be and when. I am anal-retentive down to the minute, and that can get me in trouble because I will find myself trusting in the plan. And I am the one exicuting the plan, so I so easily buy the lie of self-suffenciany. Plans are good. The Bible is very clear that we are to be wise in our decisions and have a plan, but the problem comes when we trust in the plan and our abilities because we forget where our true strength comes from. As Christians, our power comes from God. This is not something easily accepted in the modern culture. In fact many Christians are still trying to white knuckle their way through life, wearing Independence as a badge. Even the disciples who walked with Christ got this wrong. They thought He was going to come in and fix their problems by overthrowing the government. They had a plan and for centuries had been praying for the Messiah and assumed they knew what was best. But Christ came for something bigger. His plan of salvation was more important and more grand than His disciples could have imagined. So after His resurrection they had to, one by one, lay down even their best laid plans to instead daily trust leading of The Holy Spirit. Daily they had to plan what they thought was best but be willing to allow God to change their plans, and we must do the same. I'm sure Peter didn't plan to be executed and Paul didn't plan to be shipwrecked, but in the process of doing what they thought was the wise thing, God threw in something different. So the question of the day is where are you relying on the good plan instead of God? Where is God asking you to step into the unknown? Where is He asking you to rest? Where is He asking you to act? What is it that you easily can talk yourself out of because from your point of view it doesn't seem to make sense? In these places, trust The One Who Holds Time In His Hands, and follow Him....