When Baby Steps Are Really Tyrannosaurus Rex Sized

The last couple of months, most of my conversations with God have been about something I think He's putting on my heart. It's a big something, you know the kind of thing where it almost takes your breath away thinking about it. The kind of something that creates in you a mix of fear, excitement, trepidation and peace...

In 2002 I boarded a plane and headed to Tg. Neamt, Romania thinking I'd found the place I would live out the rest of my 60 or so years. (On a side note that sentence is probably funny to people who know me well because despite being a homebody, I have a tendency of moving around a lot.) While in Romania I met some amazing people and fell in love with the beautiful country, but after 4 years I began to see God was moving me again. This time back to The States. I've been home over 6 years and it's been great, but last year I kind of figured when I felt God put quitting my job on my heart, moving overseas would not be too far behind. Long story short, I am planning on taking a trip to Thailand the end of the summer. I don't want to bore everyone with the details of how this has come to pass, but there is a place in Thailand called the Tamar Center that helps women who would like to leave prostitution. Another long story short, one of the trades they teach the women is making greeting cards and jewelry to sell, and they are in need of someone to design cards and jewelry for the women to make. If you'd like to know more details, please join my FB Group for the trip and give me your address. I'd love to share with anyone who's interested. I have shared the longer version with several friends and many people think it's a no-brainer for me to see where this leads, and most of me agrees. But there is also the part of me that has always been sacred of Asia, and I mean scared. I'm not one who often deals with fear, anymore, but visiting, let alone moving somewhere where the language is totally unrecognizable to me has never been a desire of mine. But my heart has felt a tugging there for a while now and I can't deny God is lining something up... Despite knowing how God has come through and always taken care of me in the past, there's still something in my that doesn't want to trust this time: something in me that doesn't want to relinquish control. Then I think of Abraham and how God just told him to pack up and go to the land that He will show him. The land He will show him??? Really??? I've grown up reading the Bible and sitting through countless Sunday School lessons. I know the many reasons that God doesn't show us His whole plan. We'd try and do it on our own or the pain and cost involved is so great we would turn around if we had a heads up, etc... I know God had His reasons for not telling Abraham he would be tempted in Egypt and fail miserably by letting his wife join the king's harem. He would also try and do it his own way which would result in the ultimate banishment of his first born son and baby mama. It was a rough path for Abraham, but the point is when God said, "Go. I'll give you the details later", Abraham went... That's a huge step of faith. And while in our lives, most of us will never literally have God say, "Go", and not at least give us a GPS coordinate, trusting Him with our future is a huge step of faith, nonetheless. When we compare our lives to that of Abraham or Ezekiel or Jerimiah, we may be tempted to think our steps of faith are just baby steps. The truth is, they're not. For me, even considering moving to Asia is a big 'ole tyrannosaurus rex sized step. Getting on that plane to scout out a new job is another. For some people, trusting God with giving a certain percentage every month is a tyrannosaurus rex sized step. For others, not numbing themselves by going shopping or hopping on the internet to deal with pain, but instead trusting God to heal their heart is a tyrannosaurus rex sized step of faith. Our steps may look different on the outside, but if we need faith to do something, I mean really need faith, I believe from the vantage point of our Heavenly Father it all looks the same. Personally, I think that's why Jesus says we only need faith the size of a mustard seed: because faith cannot be measured by comparison. In our world we want to be able to count, measure and track successes. We crave data so we can see how we're doing. Whether it's our 401K, a new house, a hot significant other, or the illusion of being able to "have it all", there is something innate in us that wants to know how we're doing, and that usually comes from surveying our life and the lives of those around us, and then seeing where we fall into the mix. Don't get me wrong, this isn't always a bad thing. But we all hit a wall when we try and do this when it comes to faith. Because faith is faith. Whether it seems big to anyone else, the faith you need today is the same faith Mother Teresa needed to move to India. There are no baby steps of faith....