May I Have This Dance?
In the class that I'm taking, everyone has a turn starting the evening off with a small devotion and this week was mine. There seemed to be a problem though- every time I sat down to prepare, my mind went blank, which almost never happens. If anything, I have the opposite problem. My mind seems to constantly be moving, even sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, my brain is tempted to start up its internal dialogue way before the sun has even thought about coming up.
So a couple days ago, I found myself with a completely blank brain asking GOD for help. Finally, knowing He is gonna have to speak through me whether I'm prepared or not, I decided if nothing comes to me, I will just read the blog post I had previously written. It was the only thing I could thing of and figured maybe someone in the class needed to hear it...
As I was driving to class, I started singing. I don't have a radio, or rather I have one, but there is a short in it that I never got fixed. My car is a bit of sanctuary in that in this crazy world of constant noise, when I'm driving I often find Magee (that's my Jeep's name) a sweet place to be "alone" with GOD and often includes me singing to Him. So there I was singing on the way to class; trying to remember a particular song that alluded my memory, when another popped in my head. The song that filled my mind is based on Isaiah 6 and, I have only heard it a few times during worship at my old church. I am surprised that the song has not ended up being redone by 50 other Christian artists, like so many songs are, because the lyrics are so beautiful and weighty. I just discovered that the song was written by Christ For The Nations and the lyrics I was taught are:
Verse 1 I saw the Lord seated on His throne He was clothed in glory, Exalted highAnd the train of His robe, filled the temple The Angels gathered 'round Him and they cried, Chorus You are Holy Oh so Holy You are Holy Lord of All Verse 2 Woe is me For I'm uncleanAnd my eyes have seen the Risen King And He cleansed my lips Right before my eyesAnd the pillars shookAs the angels cried
I found myself driving class, with these beautiful lyrics on my tongue, remembering what GOD showed me a couple years ago through Isaiah 6 after the song 1st gripped my heart. I totally forgot that I was about to be at my class with no idea what to share, and my eyes were tearing up at the beauty of GOD and His love for us. Then it hit me, the reason I hadn't felt GOD putting anything on my heart to share, is He had this special surprise for me. He knew exactly what song I would be searching for when He would put Isaiah 6 on my heart. He knew exactly where I would be driving when my heart was in awe of Him, and He knew I would cherish being able to share this passage with my dear friends. Then something, I really didn't expect happened: I felt Him put on my heart to share the song, not just the passage with the class. One thing most people don't know about me is I love to sing, and GOD has given me a pleasant voice, but I am not the biggest fan of singing in front of people. A while ago a friend asked me to sing randomly a serious song, but I couldn't do it, and I found describing why not to be difficult. Honestly, I felt silly saying I can sing, and I love to sing, I'm just not used to singing to people with skin on. You see, so often singing is just a "me & GOD" thing and it is an intimate time I just cherish. So on the rare occasions I sing in front of others, it feels a bit odd. Which is why when I started to share with my class the other night, I even let them know I won't be singing the song... Then I opened the Bible and could feel GOD reminding me of so many deep truths and it was nothing short of fun!! I love teaching... especially the Bible... especially truths and images that are so close to my heart. But then I felt it: the gentle nudging from my loving Creator to end the time with the song. And since I wasn't prepared until my drive there, I didn't even have my mediocre guitar playing to hide behind. It was just me and my voice closing the time out... And once I got over myself, I loved it. It wasn't great because of the voice GOD had given me or because I got to "perform", but it was great because I listened to GOD and He honored us that night with His sweet, tangible presence.
As I drove home that evening, the beautiful night sky enveloping me in the Jeep, I was again reminded that when I let GOD ordain my day, He is full of surprises. Often when we try and make sure our plans go off without a hitch, we miss out. But when we hold our schedule loosely and allow GOD to intervene, He blows us away every time. It's like letting someone else lead in a dance, at first it can seem so difficult and intimidating to let go of control, but once there is a rhythm, and you trust the other person, there are so many dips and turns and twirls you just never see coming, and that's what makes it fun. The same goes for letting GOD lead the dance of your life. Many times it can be hard to trust GOD to lead you, or better yet, to trust yourself to be able to know His guiding. And sometimes, right before He dips you and you feel your one foot leave the ground and your back headed towards it, it can be downright terrifying. But whatever move He is leading you in there are 2 things you can be sure of: You can trust Him, and it'll be anything but boring...
Every morning we are met with an opportunity to answer GOD's beautiful question, "May I have this dance?"