January 17, 2020

“God is good.”

I’ve heard that phrase all of my life and growing up it was a mantra for many people in the church I attended. One person would say “God is good” and another would reply with “All the time.” But there was a long season of my life where that phrase didn’t feel true. When in my heart I chose to believe in the goodness of God but that’s not how it felt. I’d go through seasons where He felt distant and at times even cruel.”

I found myself in a place where despite me doing the best I knew how to do, the life I was living didn’t line up with what I saw in scripture. “God is good” seemed more like an abst...

December 12, 2016

So I don’t know about you, but man does my faith go through seasons. And it seems to be this last season has felt more like the eternal winter that Narnia had to face rather that a short three months of ice.

It’s one of those times when there’s something going on between God and I and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I just know I don’t like it. I’ve tried reading and listening to sermons that I hoped would help me out but I still feel this blahness and apathy when it comes to my heart toward God.

I know that there have been some situations and life changes I’m having to work through but there is also this unkn...

November 29, 2016

“Will I always be rough around the edges?”

I was listening to a podcast by Matt Chandler and he was talking about Biblical community and how he loves that in a church small group you can have the woman who’s grown up in the church who feels guilty for the stealing the pen from the bank earlier in the day sitting next to the woman who recently quit working at a strip club and is puffing away on a cigarette not thinking anything of it.

He was talking about those who are new in the faith and are rough around the edges and their importance for the church community as a whole. That prompted me to ask God about my edge...

August 6, 2015

Confession time: I have a propensity toward the dark and unhealthy things in this world. When I was younger it was obvious in how I dressed and the music I listened to. I have always been drawn to macabre but as a follower of Christ, I knew I needed to focus on things that glorify Him and bring me life. So growing up I often found myself hanging out with and drawn to people who I often didn’t have anything in common with as far as lifestyle choices, but stylistically shared similar interests.


As I got older I learned that for someone with an imagination like mine, I need to seriously filter what I watch and listen...

June 22, 2015

From time to time, I have found myself telling God, “I’m strong enough. I don’t need to grow anymore. Really, I’m content with who I am...” Knowing I have a grin on my face and am half joking but still serious, I imagine He smiles back with a wise, understanding but slightly sarcastic, “Sure you are” to me.

This now common sentiment of my heart was originally birthed out of pain and was a cry of desperation due to lack of hopelessness. You see, I’m not the kind of person who loves a challenge where the outcome is out of my control. Actually I don’t naturally enjoy any challenges when there is a risk of failure at...

June 10, 2015

I don’t know about you, but on any given day I can run the entire gambit of emotions when it comes to my contentment level.


“I do believe, but help me in my my unbelief!”


Yesterday was one of those days. Maybe it was post vacation blues because the morning before I had been enjoying my coffee outside by the pool inhaling ocean air. Maybe it was because on vacation I hand’t made the best food choices and my body was detoxing from chips, queso, and even a pop tart.
Most likely, even though those things didn’t lend any help to the situation, I figure it was one of those days because I am human and live in a fallen wo...

April 13, 2015

**Let me give a small disclaimer, in the particular post I’m just being flat out honest about a personal struggle that has been lingering the past few months. When first reading it, if you know me, you may be tempted to give me a little pep talk or encouragement, but that’s not what it’s about. In the end I found all the encouragement I need and recognized the anxiety that was trying to rear it’s head was a lie from the enemy of my soul. I’m praying that anyone who reads this sees the real intention of my writing, which is that when we take all our fears and anxieties to God, He is so faithful to restore our peace....

March 24, 2015

Glimpses of contentment: when all is right in my soul and I feel connected to the God of the universe.


In my life there have been times when God feels so close I wonder why I have ever doubted his love. Then there are times when I wake up and everything feels so... ordinary. Not just ordinary but lacking any hope of the spark that fuels you for days. This morning is one of those times and I have to be honest, it’s been rough because I am coming off a time of feeling close to God.

 
For me this year Lent has just been amazing. I have taken time to say no to most social events and have been hanging out with God more i...

January 28, 2015

I love going to the movies. From the smell of popcorn when you enter the theater to the credits rolling

 

at the end, going to see a movie in a theater is one of my favorite things to do. I get enthralled quickly and often forget that they aren't supposed to include audience participation. I have been known to scream, yell warnings, throw my fists in the air, and cry. In fact, when there's a lot of action, if you're sitting next to me, you may get elbowed because I am so into it, and I make no apologizes. Warnings yes, but not apologizes because in the theater, in the moment, and caught up in all a movie has to offe...

January 21, 2015

My roommate has a magnet on the refrigerator that says "We plan... God laughs!" and I'll be honest,

 

most days I don't like that little magnet because I know that The Bible instructs us to be wise in our daily plans, so it bugs me because it's not the full truth. But I was reminded again today that there is truth behind this little saying.

 

You see the last couple of weeks I have found myself fighting to not be overwhelmed. I have had a couple unfinished things hanging over my head and I am not the type of person who is spurred on my these kinds of things. Nope, I'm an under-functioner so when I feel feel overwhe...
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